I cried that first night

Let’s talk about the crazy hormones raging through your body after having a baby. Yea- no one prepped me about those! I was a basket case. Cried all.the.time. Happy tears, sad tears, no reason tears. Yep I had them all. The first cry was one I’ll never forget.
I came home from the hospital at night, got all my bags unpacked (I left with 2 and came back with 10?!), fed the babies and got them settled into bed. We were all exhausted and ready for some well-deserved sleep (haha- jokes on us, no one gets sleep around here :))…I had really missed Juniper while I was in the hospital so I decided to snuggle her for a few minutes. We cuddled up on the rocking chair in the nursery and as I rocked her I just started sobbing. My baby suddenly seemed so big and grown up and on top of that I felt like I was betraying her by bringing home two more babies. I felt a loss for the time we wouldn’t get to spend together now that my time was divided between three babies. I felt an urgency to figure out what we would say to people when they would ask us about our kids. Do we continually divulge our whole story to perfect strangers whenever they ask? Should we just call them triplets? How do we share our beautiful story without Juniper feeling singled out?
All these feelings and questions were worrying me, mostly because I wanted to protect her from getting hurt. I looked down at her and she was just as cozy and content as could be, dozing off in my arms. As I sat there, watching her drift to sleep, I decided that I would enjoy every moment I had with her and the boys. These were my people.
I’m pretty sure I had a few more good cries holding Juniper over the next couple weeks. Since my delivery was so ‘involved’ I couldn’t carry Juniper for a while which made me feel even worse! Luckily, I healed physically (straight up miracle what our bodies can do!) and my emotional wellbeing simmered down but I still make it my goal to enjoy every moment with them.